Race

You know, race is one of those things that you want to talk about, you just aren't really sure what you can say. I think people want to talk about it, they're just afraid if they do they might sound like a racist. I guess I'm speaking for white people obviously. I don't try to act like I know what it's like to have people judge me based on the color of my skin. But I feel like I'm really close to the issue considering that the guy I dated for the past 2 years is black. I think I gained a lot from that relationship in regards to race.

I've never been the type of person to judge someone by their skin color. I've also never been the person who was afraid of what people would think about me. So when I started dating a black guy, I didn't really care what anyone, including my family, would think. I don't come from some deep southern, dixie outfitter kind of family. But at the same time, my family wasn't so keen on the whole interracial thing. In fact, they tried to talk me out of it. But I stood my ground and did what I wanted. You can't help who you love.

I think racism is just as prevolent in our society today as it was 50 years ago. Yes, we have made advances in schools and public transportation, etc. But I think there are just as many people who are racist. They just may not express it because it's sort of frowned upon. It's kind of swept under the rug and people pretend like it doesn't happen. But it does. When I was dating my boyfriend, I know he used to be really self-concious and would get upset when people stared at us in public. It didn't bother me I guess because I look at it as being ignorant. If someone wants to judge me, it just proves how ignorant ther are. He told me once that he felt like he was always trying to please others. He always had to look his best because if he slipped up and wore baggy pants or something people would label him as just an "ignorant black kid." I never really got it until then. I always brush it off and say I don't care what other people think about me. I don't try to dress nice to impress other people. But for him, it was more than that. If he didn't dress a certain way, he felt like people would be disappointed, like he had some standard to uphold. I guess that's something I can never FULLY understand.

I am fascinated by race. I love to learn about it. Everytime I'm at the mall or at a restaurant and I see a black person holding hands with a white person I just get so happy inside. 50 years ago people risked their lives by doing that. So obviously we are progressing. I think there will always be some racism, just like there will always be people who think I can't do things because I'm a woman. You can't be responsible for all the ignorant people in the world. But you can be responsible for yourself. I don't think I'm racist but I admit that I do hold certain stereotypes. And I guess that is a form of racism in it's own. But white people aren't the only people that have those. I hate it when certain black people think that all white people are out to get them. Like when we were talking about Kanye West. You know, there are racist people, but we aren't all racist. There are stereotypes that black people have about white people and we all have stereotypes about asians and everyone else. A stereotype, racism, is simply the unknown. We have those views because we just don't know or understand.

It's a really sensative subject, race is. But I think the only way to desensitize it is to talk about it. It may be something that's really uncomfortable to talk about and you find yourself not knowing how or what to say. But it's important to talk about it. It's important to understand where other people are coming from.