so last semester I wrote a blog entitled "Last blog". Little did I know it was not my last blog. But finally, unless Wendy ends up teaching oral comm and I somehow end up in her class and she makes us write blogs again, finally this is my last blog! And I am so proud of myself for keeping up with the blogs this time. I may not have written a blog every day, but every Friday there were 5 posts of my blog. I didn't have to do any catching up this time. I better have 100% for my blogs.
This year went by fairly quickly. And it was full of fun, excitement, tears, and plenty of drunken nights that I don't remember. But I have learned a lot. Maybe not a lot as far as school is concerned because I'm really not feeling it too much. But I've learned a lot about myself, and some of it I can't say I'm too happy about. But nonetheless I've learned a lot about who I am. I've realized I may not know as much as I thought I did and it may be awhile before I completely know who I am. I'm realizing that this whole college thing is a lot of work and it's not just fun. And I haven't quite decided if it's really my thing or not. Anyways, I've learned a lot this semester from everyone around me and I'm glad that the year is over, but I hope the connections I've made are not over. (Definitely glad the blogs are over though!)
Friday, April 18, 2008
"this is my wife. and her. and her. and her..."
So there was this raid at a polygamy colony out in Texas. It's been all over the news this week. After a 16 year old called in to a help-hotline saying she was raped, police raided the polygamist colony and took cutody of over 400 children. Right now there is a huge custody battle going on about what's going to happen to the children. Many of the girls as young as 14 and 15 were being forced into marriages with men as old as 50. These colonies are like cults. Men are in power and they often have numerous wives. Why anyone would allow themselves to stay in this situation is beyond me. This isn't the only colony. This kind of thing happens all over the place.
I watched a show on TLC about a polygamist man who had three wives. It wasn't a religious cult or colony, just a man with three wives. And they were all ok with it! It is absolutely astounding that a woman would demean herself by letting her husband marry other women. They all lived together and he would sleep with a different one each night. Hoe fucked up is that? And when you add kids into the equation, you are setting them up to have fucked up morals and views. It's not fair for children to have to grow up that way. No child should be taught that that kind of lifestyle is acceptable. Because it absolutely isn't. It's just so hard to imagine ever being a part of something like that, much less being ok with living like that. It just baffles me.
I watched a show on TLC about a polygamist man who had three wives. It wasn't a religious cult or colony, just a man with three wives. And they were all ok with it! It is absolutely astounding that a woman would demean herself by letting her husband marry other women. They all lived together and he would sleep with a different one each night. Hoe fucked up is that? And when you add kids into the equation, you are setting them up to have fucked up morals and views. It's not fair for children to have to grow up that way. No child should be taught that that kind of lifestyle is acceptable. Because it absolutely isn't. It's just so hard to imagine ever being a part of something like that, much less being ok with living like that. It just baffles me.
FUCK IT
So all this week my status on Facebook has included the phrase "fuck it." Everyone keeps asking me why I'm so angry. Wendy asked me in class yesterday what was wrong. Nothing's wrong, I'm not angry. It's just my new philosophy on life. I'm tired of stressing out about stupid shit. I hate school. I hate drama. So instead of worrying abotu anything or getting worked up, I just say FUCK IT. Then I can relax and enjoy my life. If I have a big test and I know I don't really know the material. Why try to study? I'm not going to learn anything new. So fuck it. If I'm talking to a new guy and he doesn't call me....fuck it. I don't need him anyways. Obviously if he hasn't called me he's an idiot, so I'm not gonna stress out about that shit. FUCK IT. When I'm at work and I have some gay customer that's being a bitch, fuck it. They're probably not going to leave me a good tip anyways, so just fuck it.
I've realized that if you don't stress out about so many things, you're life is generally better and you are a happier person all around. I like being laid-back and not having to worry about shit. I still have things to do and I still have to take care of my responsibilities, but if it's not a big deal or if something is just eating away at you, say FUCK IT. Throw it to the side and don't even worry about it. I'm happier already!
I've realized that if you don't stress out about so many things, you're life is generally better and you are a happier person all around. I like being laid-back and not having to worry about shit. I still have things to do and I still have to take care of my responsibilities, but if it's not a big deal or if something is just eating away at you, say FUCK IT. Throw it to the side and don't even worry about it. I'm happier already!
I'm over it
I'm really sick of all this rain. It's been so nice out the past couple of weeks with the exception of the rainy days. I don't have an umbrella, I don't have rain boots, I hate fucking rain. Today I got a shower and got dressed, dryed my hair and straightened it. Then I walked outside and got soaked. My hair was all curly, now I'm going to have to re-straighten it. I was wearing a skirt because I hate it when I wear jeans and it's rainging because I hate walking around with the bottom of my jeans wet, but since I was wearing a skirt with flip flops, my legs and feet were all wet. And it's not even warm and raining. It's freaking windy and cold. So I got soaking wet and then had to go sit in this meeting where they acted like it was Africa or something and had the air on full blast. So here I am in a white t-shirt, a short skirt, and flip flops, WET, and freezing. Needless to say I was pretty pissed off. I don't like being whiny and complainy but I just feel like bitching because I hate rain. Maybe if it was warm and I didn't have anything to do and I didn't care about what I was wearing...maybe then I wouldn;t care if it was raining. But I had just done my hair!!! come on!! And the other day I was at the mall and was about to buy some rain boots but then I spent $130 at Forever 21 and told myself I didn't need to buy anything else, so I decided against the rainboots. But obviously that was stupid because I needed them today. Whatever. I'm over this rain. It better not rain tomorrow.
Study Abroad
This summer I'm travelling with the University Singers to Germany. There are all these things that we have to get done and all these forms and whatnot that we have to turn in before we can go. Today there was this general study abroad meeting that we were required to go to. I didn't know the meeting was today until my friend reminded me. I get there at 2 and find out it's supposed to last until 5! I was like are you fucking kidding me?! I have the first performance of my opera tonight, I haven't eaten, and I had all my blogs to write. There was no way I was staying until 5. They showed us this ridiculous movie about things to be careful about in foreign countries. It seemed like it was trying to scare us out of going more than it was trying to help us. It was telling us things like wear condoms because STD's over there are bad, and things like don't do heroin because they'll be more strict and you'll have to stay in jail there. They showed us people dying in car accidents in rivers. I was like seriously? Out of all the helpful things they could be telling us, this is what they chose to show us? It was the worst movie ever and it was made in like the early 90's so everyone looked really stupid. I was so bored. My friend had to leave at 3:30 to go to work, so I took the opportunity to get out of there. There was no way I was about to sit there for another hour and a half listening to all that crap that you can figure out by using common sense. I'm going to Germany, not some third world country where I need to learn how to boil the water before I drink it! Give me a break!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Summer job
So I've got this pretty awesome job down at Young Avenue Deli. In case you've never been there, it's this restaurant/bar down at Cooper Young. It's got really good food and a fun midtown atmosphere. And it's only about 5 minutes down the street. The only problem is, this summer I'll be staying out in Cordova at my parents house and it's a long drive from there. I only work two nights a work: Thursday and Sunday. Unless I pick up other peoples' shifts. So driving out to midtown two nights a week during the summer won't be too bad. But I was thinking of getting a second job closer to my house just for the summer. I used to work at Red Robin in collierville and I thought about working there again just during the summer. But after thinking about it, I don't think I really want to do that. My job now is so laid back and there aren't any stupid rules that I have to follow. I don't have a really gay uniform or anything. So I've just gotten so used to that, that I don't really want to go back to such a strict job. And also, I didn't make as much money at Red Robin, and there was a lot of bullshit that I had to deal with.
I know I'll probly get bored during the summer and a lot of my friends do live out here in midtown, so I could just pick up more shifts and work out here. But with gas being like 10 dollars a gallon it just seems so ridiculous to drive so far away everyday. Oh well, I know I'll probably end up doing that, so whatever. It was just something I was thinking about. Maybe I'll find some cool bar in Cordova to pick some shifts up at. Who knows.
I know I'll probly get bored during the summer and a lot of my friends do live out here in midtown, so I could just pick up more shifts and work out here. But with gas being like 10 dollars a gallon it just seems so ridiculous to drive so far away everyday. Oh well, I know I'll probably end up doing that, so whatever. It was just something I was thinking about. Maybe I'll find some cool bar in Cordova to pick some shifts up at. Who knows.
Where are you repairmen?
All this week we've had repairmen working on our shower. When we first moved in to Richardson Towers in the fall, there was a fairly bad leak on our carpet coming from under the bathroom door. Well it's been fixed twice already and it came back about a week ago. This time they actually fixed it. There were some tiles around the faucet in the shower that were so fragile, if they were touched the would have fallen off. So water has been leaking behind it and soaking our floor. Last week it was so bad, our room smelled like mildew and there was a puddle in our carpet. It slushed when we walked on it. I couldn't bare to stay in the room for longer than an hour unless I was asleep because the stench was so strong. We used up two cans or air freshner in a week.
Well two days ago the repairment started working on it. We got a key to a room down the hall to take our showers in. The first day they knocked out the old tile and replaced it. Then yesterday they came and grouted the wall. Both days they came early in the morning. They said by today we would be able to use it but first they had to come and put the handles and faucet back on. But where are they? I figured they would have shown up sometime while I was getting ready for class this morning because that's what they've done the past two days. But they still haven't been here. And I'm sure they won't be coming after 5 since that's about the time to go home. And then I bet they don't work on the weekends...so I hope they show up in the next couple hours because I don't want to have to shower down the hall anymore. It's like having communal bathrooms. So repairmen, you need to hurry up!
Well two days ago the repairment started working on it. We got a key to a room down the hall to take our showers in. The first day they knocked out the old tile and replaced it. Then yesterday they came and grouted the wall. Both days they came early in the morning. They said by today we would be able to use it but first they had to come and put the handles and faucet back on. But where are they? I figured they would have shown up sometime while I was getting ready for class this morning because that's what they've done the past two days. But they still haven't been here. And I'm sure they won't be coming after 5 since that's about the time to go home. And then I bet they don't work on the weekends...so I hope they show up in the next couple hours because I don't want to have to shower down the hall anymore. It's like having communal bathrooms. So repairmen, you need to hurry up!
Nearing an end
So our freshman year of college is almost over. I've learned a lot these past two semesters. But I'm definitely glad it's almost over. I've learned a lot about myself and I've also realized there are a lot of things I don't know about myself. In high school I wasn't much of a studious student. Things came pretty easy to me and I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty lazy and took really easy classes. College had a lot more in store for me. I realized that I actually have homework that I actually have to do. And although I procrastinate and sometimes half-ass things, I always do my homework.
College has shown me that I don't always know everything. I've always had everything planned out and just this year, so many curve balls have been thrown my way and shown me that things will change without notice and I just kind of have to go with the flow. I have already decided that I'm not going to do the major I came into college with. I don't know exactly what I'm going to change it to, but I know what I'm not doing. I think I need to work on my attitude towards school and my work ethics because I've realized they aren't that great. I'm just not very motivated and I think it's because I haven't found that thing I super passionate about yet. Once I find it, I think it'll be a lot easier for me to be dedicated. Another problem I have is that I'm easily distracted. I just need to focus and get my work done.
I'm looking forward to what my future holds in store for me and I'm definitely glad this year is coming to an end. I have about two weeks left and while they will be the two most hectic weeks ever, I'm glad it's almost over!
College has shown me that I don't always know everything. I've always had everything planned out and just this year, so many curve balls have been thrown my way and shown me that things will change without notice and I just kind of have to go with the flow. I have already decided that I'm not going to do the major I came into college with. I don't know exactly what I'm going to change it to, but I know what I'm not doing. I think I need to work on my attitude towards school and my work ethics because I've realized they aren't that great. I'm just not very motivated and I think it's because I haven't found that thing I super passionate about yet. Once I find it, I think it'll be a lot easier for me to be dedicated. Another problem I have is that I'm easily distracted. I just need to focus and get my work done.
I'm looking forward to what my future holds in store for me and I'm definitely glad this year is coming to an end. I have about two weeks left and while they will be the two most hectic weeks ever, I'm glad it's almost over!
Berlioz
So this entire year I've been a part of the University Singers ensemble here at school. I've been singing my whole life and I love being in choir. I was always in choir in high school but being in a college level chorus is so much better than high school choir. Anyways, this semester we've been working on a huge piece, The Berlioz Requiem. A requiem was a piece written for someone's funeral. This particular requiem was written by Hector Berlioz and has 10 movements. It's been pretty intense working on it and tomorrow night is the culmination of our work. We're performing the piece with the Memphis Symphony Chorus and the Memphis Symphony Orchestra, under the direction of Maestro Loebel.
The piece is really a wonderful piece. It's full of drama and excitement. It's amazing to think that these pieces used to be performed at people's funerals. The piece is about 110 pages and from start to end will last about an hour and a half. So needless to say, practicing for the piece has been kind of a bitch. Every night this week we've had rehearsals downtown from 7 until 10. The majority of the rehearsals are spent standing up, so we get tired really quickly. I'm always trying to save my voice because my opera is next weekend. So I've been having to lip sing a bit and sing softly so I don't get too burnt out.
I'm looking forward to the concert tomorrow night because the Cannon Center is a really nice venue and people have paid up to $100 for seats. It should be a really good concert, so if you don't have anything to do at 8:00 tomorrow night come on down for some good old classical music.
The piece is really a wonderful piece. It's full of drama and excitement. It's amazing to think that these pieces used to be performed at people's funerals. The piece is about 110 pages and from start to end will last about an hour and a half. So needless to say, practicing for the piece has been kind of a bitch. Every night this week we've had rehearsals downtown from 7 until 10. The majority of the rehearsals are spent standing up, so we get tired really quickly. I'm always trying to save my voice because my opera is next weekend. So I've been having to lip sing a bit and sing softly so I don't get too burnt out.
I'm looking forward to the concert tomorrow night because the Cannon Center is a really nice venue and people have paid up to $100 for seats. It should be a really good concert, so if you don't have anything to do at 8:00 tomorrow night come on down for some good old classical music.
El Porton Day!!!
Every Friday my roommate and I go to El Porton. It's kind of our date night with each other because our lives are so hectic sometimes we don't get around to talking about everything. So every Friday we make it a point to try to go to El Porton at some point during the day. We've only skipped it a handful of times and only because our schedules didn't line up or we were going out of town or something. We never exclude anyone from El Po day though. Sometimes it's just me and Angie, but a lot of times we invite other people to go with us. We just love it because it's so cheap and soooo good.
I'm not really sure how the ritual started. I think we just went there one Friday and then the next week we went again and it just kind of got started. We always order the exact same thing. Two waters, a white cheese dip, and two chicken quesadillas with one side of lettuce. We used to look at the menu to change it up but we always ended up getting the same thing, so we just stopped looking at the menu. We made friends with one of the waiters there. His name is Ali and we love him. He always comes and talks to us and sometimes he's our waiter.
El Po Day is what gets us through the week. Just knowing that Friday is coming up and we'll get some El Porton makes the week go by so fast. I'm pretty sure this tradition will go on for a while!
I'm not really sure how the ritual started. I think we just went there one Friday and then the next week we went again and it just kind of got started. We always order the exact same thing. Two waters, a white cheese dip, and two chicken quesadillas with one side of lettuce. We used to look at the menu to change it up but we always ended up getting the same thing, so we just stopped looking at the menu. We made friends with one of the waiters there. His name is Ali and we love him. He always comes and talks to us and sometimes he's our waiter.
El Po Day is what gets us through the week. Just knowing that Friday is coming up and we'll get some El Porton makes the week go by so fast. I'm pretty sure this tradition will go on for a while!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Go Tigers
So I don't have anything to write about and I'm ready to get my weekend started so I was advised by my roomie to write about the game this weekend. How totally exciting is it that our Tigers have made it all the way to the Final Four? And hopefully they'll make it all the way to the championship. I'm not going to say they will make it, because I don't want to jinx it. I think that's why we lost the UT game. Everyone kept saying we were going to kill UT and they were really cocky about it and it jinxed us! Look what happened. So this time let's not be too cocky. But I think we have a pretty good chance of winning.
I have to work tomorrow night, but not until 7. So the game should be finishing up by then. It's pretty cool that we have something to brag about. No one ever gives Memphis that much credit. But no one can knock our basketball team. Man the other day we had a scare. I got a text message on Tuesday saying that NCAA News said that J.Dorsey was banned from the rest of the conference games due to possession of narcotics. Later we discovered it was just an April Fool's joke. Thank goodness! That would have sucked to lose one of our best players before the biggest game of the year! But thankfully that wasn't true. And tomorrow we will get to see our Tigers do their stuff. Until then...GO TIGERS!
I have to work tomorrow night, but not until 7. So the game should be finishing up by then. It's pretty cool that we have something to brag about. No one ever gives Memphis that much credit. But no one can knock our basketball team. Man the other day we had a scare. I got a text message on Tuesday saying that NCAA News said that J.Dorsey was banned from the rest of the conference games due to possession of narcotics. Later we discovered it was just an April Fool's joke. Thank goodness! That would have sucked to lose one of our best players before the biggest game of the year! But thankfully that wasn't true. And tomorrow we will get to see our Tigers do their stuff. Until then...GO TIGERS!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Rock the Cradle
So I'm flipping through the channels trying to find something good to watch when I come across this new show "Rock the Cradle" on MTV. The basis of the show is an American Idol-esque talent competition. But there's a twist. All of the contestants are children of famous singers. The contestants include Landon Brown, son of Bobby Brown, Chloe Lattanzi, daughter of Olivia Newton John, Jesse Blaze Snider, son of Dee Snider, to name a few. There are a total of nine contestants who will perform each week until they are all eliminated except one.
It's almost unfair. These kids are trying to make it on their own, but it's automatically going to be easier for them than just some random Joe. They don't want to always be know as "that celebrity's kid." They already have their foot in the doot just because of who their parents are.
Well the show kicked off with Eddie Money's daughter Jesse Money. I'm a bit disappointed. She wasn't that great. But I guess we'll see how it ends up. I'm kind of skeptical....I'm not sure that these kids are that great just because of who their parents are.
It's almost unfair. These kids are trying to make it on their own, but it's automatically going to be easier for them than just some random Joe. They don't want to always be know as "that celebrity's kid." They already have their foot in the doot just because of who their parents are.
Well the show kicked off with Eddie Money's daughter Jesse Money. I'm a bit disappointed. She wasn't that great. But I guess we'll see how it ends up. I'm kind of skeptical....I'm not sure that these kids are that great just because of who their parents are.
Is Sunbathing good for you?
http://www.slate.com/id/2187566/
Well I just got back from tanning, so I found this article appropriate. During high school, I never went tanning. I was one of those girls who was totally against it. The only time I went tanning in high school was the week before prom. But coming to college things changed. My roommate works at Tan-N-Go. So that in itself is kind of tempting. Needless to say I started tanning on a regular basis. But now I like it. I like being tan. But I always have that little voice in the back of my head telling me I should cut back because I don't want to end up with skin cancer or something.
Well I found this article very interesting because it examined indoor tanning and sun exposure. It says that some exposure to the sun may actually be good for you. It says that the tanning has a degree of vitamin D that is important to have and you can get it from tanning for about 15 minutes two-three times a week. That's about what I do! So now I can justify my tanning with the fact that I am actually filling my body with important nutrients. It also examines the myths that tanning causes cancer. It shows studies of nonmelanoma and melanoma cancers and who often contracts the disease. There is a very small percent of people who seem to receive cancer from sun exposure. This really eases my mind. Because I really don't want to give up my tanning!
Well I just got back from tanning, so I found this article appropriate. During high school, I never went tanning. I was one of those girls who was totally against it. The only time I went tanning in high school was the week before prom. But coming to college things changed. My roommate works at Tan-N-Go. So that in itself is kind of tempting. Needless to say I started tanning on a regular basis. But now I like it. I like being tan. But I always have that little voice in the back of my head telling me I should cut back because I don't want to end up with skin cancer or something.
Well I found this article very interesting because it examined indoor tanning and sun exposure. It says that some exposure to the sun may actually be good for you. It says that the tanning has a degree of vitamin D that is important to have and you can get it from tanning for about 15 minutes two-three times a week. That's about what I do! So now I can justify my tanning with the fact that I am actually filling my body with important nutrients. It also examines the myths that tanning causes cancer. It shows studies of nonmelanoma and melanoma cancers and who often contracts the disease. There is a very small percent of people who seem to receive cancer from sun exposure. This really eases my mind. Because I really don't want to give up my tanning!
This Week in Racism
http://www.slate.com/id/2187797/
Well this article seemed perfect keeping on the topic of racism that we've been discussing this week. It gets to a point where you talk about something so much that there's nothing left to say; it just becomes a blur of words and opinions that have no meaning anymore. After I read this article I felt like there was nothing left to say. It just seems so ridiculous.
The article is about the cover of the latest issue of vogue. It shows basketball superstar, LeBron James roaring while clutching supermodel Gisele Bundchen in his arms. So what's the controversy? Well it seems this cover is all too similar to the old movie poster for King Kong; a giant gorilla roaring and holding a small white woman in his arms. What does this allude to? The comparison of black men to apes. So therefore this month's issue of Vogue is racist. Seriously? Is this the best they can come up with? As if there isn't enough talk about racism in politics and everything else right now. They have to stir it up anywhere they can. It's absolutely ridiculous. I highly doubt the photographer, famous celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz, was thinking of the 1930's film while shooting.
This is just so completely out there to me. The author of the article said he had "racism fatigue." It does seem like it's something overly brought up. Talking about it in class today proved that too. I definitely think there is racism and a lot of times there is a double-standard and some say it isn't talked about enough. But I think the wrong aspects of racism are talked about. The author pegged it when he said :
"America will never be a 'Let's talk about race' kind of place. It'll always be a 'Let's talk about how we can't talk about race' kind of place."
Too often people bring up things that aren't racist, such as this magazine cover. Or they overexpose things to make them seem worse than they really are. It's a problem. If we're going to talk about racism let's do it the right way. Get rid of all the political correctness that we highlighted in class. Get down to the real stuff. Talk about that. I'm tired of hearing ridiculous statements of racism.
Well this article seemed perfect keeping on the topic of racism that we've been discussing this week. It gets to a point where you talk about something so much that there's nothing left to say; it just becomes a blur of words and opinions that have no meaning anymore. After I read this article I felt like there was nothing left to say. It just seems so ridiculous.
The article is about the cover of the latest issue of vogue. It shows basketball superstar, LeBron James roaring while clutching supermodel Gisele Bundchen in his arms. So what's the controversy? Well it seems this cover is all too similar to the old movie poster for King Kong; a giant gorilla roaring and holding a small white woman in his arms. What does this allude to? The comparison of black men to apes. So therefore this month's issue of Vogue is racist. Seriously? Is this the best they can come up with? As if there isn't enough talk about racism in politics and everything else right now. They have to stir it up anywhere they can. It's absolutely ridiculous. I highly doubt the photographer, famous celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz, was thinking of the 1930's film while shooting.
This is just so completely out there to me. The author of the article said he had "racism fatigue." It does seem like it's something overly brought up. Talking about it in class today proved that too. I definitely think there is racism and a lot of times there is a double-standard and some say it isn't talked about enough. But I think the wrong aspects of racism are talked about. The author pegged it when he said :
"America will never be a 'Let's talk about race' kind of place. It'll always be a 'Let's talk about how we can't talk about race' kind of place."
Too often people bring up things that aren't racist, such as this magazine cover. Or they overexpose things to make them seem worse than they really are. It's a problem. If we're going to talk about racism let's do it the right way. Get rid of all the political correctness that we highlighted in class. Get down to the real stuff. Talk about that. I'm tired of hearing ridiculous statements of racism.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Race
You know, race is one of those things that you want to talk about, you just aren't really sure what you can say. I think people want to talk about it, they're just afraid if they do they might sound like a racist. I guess I'm speaking for white people obviously. I don't try to act like I know what it's like to have people judge me based on the color of my skin. But I feel like I'm really close to the issue considering that the guy I dated for the past 2 years is black. I think I gained a lot from that relationship in regards to race.
I've never been the type of person to judge someone by their skin color. I've also never been the person who was afraid of what people would think about me. So when I started dating a black guy, I didn't really care what anyone, including my family, would think. I don't come from some deep southern, dixie outfitter kind of family. But at the same time, my family wasn't so keen on the whole interracial thing. In fact, they tried to talk me out of it. But I stood my ground and did what I wanted. You can't help who you love.
I think racism is just as prevolent in our society today as it was 50 years ago. Yes, we have made advances in schools and public transportation, etc. But I think there are just as many people who are racist. They just may not express it because it's sort of frowned upon. It's kind of swept under the rug and people pretend like it doesn't happen. But it does. When I was dating my boyfriend, I know he used to be really self-concious and would get upset when people stared at us in public. It didn't bother me I guess because I look at it as being ignorant. If someone wants to judge me, it just proves how ignorant ther are. He told me once that he felt like he was always trying to please others. He always had to look his best because if he slipped up and wore baggy pants or something people would label him as just an "ignorant black kid." I never really got it until then. I always brush it off and say I don't care what other people think about me. I don't try to dress nice to impress other people. But for him, it was more than that. If he didn't dress a certain way, he felt like people would be disappointed, like he had some standard to uphold. I guess that's something I can never FULLY understand.
I am fascinated by race. I love to learn about it. Everytime I'm at the mall or at a restaurant and I see a black person holding hands with a white person I just get so happy inside. 50 years ago people risked their lives by doing that. So obviously we are progressing. I think there will always be some racism, just like there will always be people who think I can't do things because I'm a woman. You can't be responsible for all the ignorant people in the world. But you can be responsible for yourself. I don't think I'm racist but I admit that I do hold certain stereotypes. And I guess that is a form of racism in it's own. But white people aren't the only people that have those. I hate it when certain black people think that all white people are out to get them. Like when we were talking about Kanye West. You know, there are racist people, but we aren't all racist. There are stereotypes that black people have about white people and we all have stereotypes about asians and everyone else. A stereotype, racism, is simply the unknown. We have those views because we just don't know or understand.
It's a really sensative subject, race is. But I think the only way to desensitize it is to talk about it. It may be something that's really uncomfortable to talk about and you find yourself not knowing how or what to say. But it's important to talk about it. It's important to understand where other people are coming from.
I've never been the type of person to judge someone by their skin color. I've also never been the person who was afraid of what people would think about me. So when I started dating a black guy, I didn't really care what anyone, including my family, would think. I don't come from some deep southern, dixie outfitter kind of family. But at the same time, my family wasn't so keen on the whole interracial thing. In fact, they tried to talk me out of it. But I stood my ground and did what I wanted. You can't help who you love.
I think racism is just as prevolent in our society today as it was 50 years ago. Yes, we have made advances in schools and public transportation, etc. But I think there are just as many people who are racist. They just may not express it because it's sort of frowned upon. It's kind of swept under the rug and people pretend like it doesn't happen. But it does. When I was dating my boyfriend, I know he used to be really self-concious and would get upset when people stared at us in public. It didn't bother me I guess because I look at it as being ignorant. If someone wants to judge me, it just proves how ignorant ther are. He told me once that he felt like he was always trying to please others. He always had to look his best because if he slipped up and wore baggy pants or something people would label him as just an "ignorant black kid." I never really got it until then. I always brush it off and say I don't care what other people think about me. I don't try to dress nice to impress other people. But for him, it was more than that. If he didn't dress a certain way, he felt like people would be disappointed, like he had some standard to uphold. I guess that's something I can never FULLY understand.
I am fascinated by race. I love to learn about it. Everytime I'm at the mall or at a restaurant and I see a black person holding hands with a white person I just get so happy inside. 50 years ago people risked their lives by doing that. So obviously we are progressing. I think there will always be some racism, just like there will always be people who think I can't do things because I'm a woman. You can't be responsible for all the ignorant people in the world. But you can be responsible for yourself. I don't think I'm racist but I admit that I do hold certain stereotypes. And I guess that is a form of racism in it's own. But white people aren't the only people that have those. I hate it when certain black people think that all white people are out to get them. Like when we were talking about Kanye West. You know, there are racist people, but we aren't all racist. There are stereotypes that black people have about white people and we all have stereotypes about asians and everyone else. A stereotype, racism, is simply the unknown. We have those views because we just don't know or understand.
It's a really sensative subject, race is. But I think the only way to desensitize it is to talk about it. It may be something that's really uncomfortable to talk about and you find yourself not knowing how or what to say. But it's important to talk about it. It's important to understand where other people are coming from.
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