drinking age

I just got back from eating dinner at my work. It was our friend's birthday and she wanted to eat there so we went. When we walked in, we were followed by two sheriffs. We were like "uh ohhhh I wonder what's going on here!" Apparently the ABC (alcoholic beverage commision) had been sending people into restaurants to make sure they were IDing people. One of the girls that works with me had unfortunately forgotten to ID someone and it just happened to be someone underage, sent in from the ABC. She was busted and that's why the sheriffs were there. It's a really serious offense when that happens. You don't go to jail or anything, but the restaurant gets fined about $500-$600. Also, our boss had to fire her. It was really sad because the girl had been working there for five years. I know it's a big deal, but I don't think she should've been fired. My brother did the same thing once. He was fired from a previous job because he forgot to ID someone. I've been really lucky. Sometimes I forget to ID, but luckily no one has ever been underage. It's something that you have to be really careful about.

While we were eating, and talking about it, my roommate said that she thinks they should just change the drinking age to 18. I don't think it's that great of an idea. I mean yeah, it would be nice to be able to buy alcohol, but I'm a responsible person. Many people our age, however, are not that responsible. I think if the drinking age went down, there would be more drinking fatalities and incidents. My roommate was right though saying that if kids want to get it, they will. It does hinder the ability to get it and makes it a lot harder to get if you aren't 21. I just think that's a bad idea. I really don't think it should be as serious as it is though. It really sucks that we lost a really good waitress because of a small mistake.

Visitation

I'm so tired right now. It's been a long day. And now I only have one more day to get through and then I'm leaving to go to Tampa for a week. But before I get too carried away with that, I wanted to talk a little bit about what I did tonight and how it got me thinking. On Monday my mother called me to inform me the husband of a woman she teaches with had unexpectedly passed away. The woman is a close friend of my mother's and has also played piano for me before. It really is a sad story. The woman had been at the hospital with her youngest daughter who was sick with the flu, when she got a phone call saying that her older daughter had found her husband dead on the bathroom floor in what was an apparent heart attack. They didn't do an autopsy but it was apparent that he had likely died from a heart attack. He had been in remission from cancer and many times chemo weakens the heart. In addition, he was overweight which added to the weakness of his heart; unfortunately it was too much to survive the heart attack.

Tonight my mother and I went to the visitation together. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. We walked in the door and there were hundreds of people. Then we relalized they were all standing in line. They were standing in a line that wrapped around the entire main room, through smaller rooms, hallways, and on and on until finally reaching the room with the casket. I couldn't believe how many people were there. I mean I've been to visitations and funerals before but this was amazing. It must have been so touching to his family to know that he touched so many lives. He was a drama teacher at a local high school, so many of the students were there. There were also people from my mother's school to support their friend who was sitting by the casket grasciously greeting each and every person that came through. I really just can't imagine how she did it. I don't know how I could cope with losing the love of my life. It really makes you think about things.

I started thinking about it; and everytime something like this happens, I always think about it. I almost get into this sort of funk where that's all I can think about for days. I just don't know how I could go on if I lost that one person that meant the world to me. It makes every little fight you have with someone seem so unimportant. What if you had a fight with someone and then they died without resolving it. Wouldn't that be the worst feeling in the world? I just can't stop thinking about things like that. It's really sad. I know that everyone dies eventually but I hate thinking about it, as do most people. I just feel so bad for their family. It must be the worst feeling in the world. I really don't know how I could get through something like that.

Littlemindedness

Robert Frost said, "We come to college to get over our littlemindedness." Discuss in relation to your own experiences.

This is an interesting quote to try to interpret. Robert Frost says this to express the importance and purpose of college. I think what he's trying to say is that before college we are very naive and think of things on a small scale. In high school, we don't really think of the big picture, just what's happening then. Once you get to college, there is so much more going on. You are expected to take initiative and do your work without being told. The professors don't care if you come to class, or if you do your work. That's why so many people fall behind. You have to do things on your own. No longer do you have someone holding your hand and taking you through things step by step.

I've had a hard time getting to this stage. I'm really good about getting up and going to class. I rarely ever miss. The way I look at it is, I'm paying for it so I might as well go. If I don't go to class, I might as well just trow $10,000 in the trash can. However I must admit I'm not very good about taking initiative. Part of that I think is that I'm havign a hard time deciding what I want to major in. I honestly cannot think of a single thing I want to do for the rest of my life. It's really discouraging. I hate going to class everyday because I'm going to classes that I hate. They are general ed classes that I won't need for whatever I eventually do decide to do with my life. I hate it. Thus, I don't really try as hard as I could. I wait until the last minute to do everything and I pretty much half-ass everything. I normally manage to come out with decent grades though. This is how it's been my whole life. I just don't think I can be motivated to do something until I find something I'm really interested in. I do think I have grown up somewhat though and am past my "littlemindedness."

where's ANTM?!?

ok so seriously I'm really pissed off right now. I just wrote an entire blog and when I hit post, there was an "error" on Blogger and it conveniently deleted my blog. So I'm going to just give a little recap about my blog but it probably won't be as good or as detailed as the original was. Well tonight I sat down to turn on America's Next Top Model for the newest episode and instead I found that there was a stupid basketball game on instead!!! What the F?! So instead I was sucked into watching WifeSwap. In case you've never seen WifeSwap, the basis is that they take two wives from completely different families around the country and swap them with another family that has a completely different style of living.

The episode that I watched tonight dealt with two very different families. One family had a mother that worked all day while her husband did all the chores around the house. She was a very cold woman who prided herself in not showing too much emotion. She never showed emotion to her four children and made sure they were very self-sufficient. They were all very intelligent and in turn thought everyone else was ignorant. The second family was a down-south country family with a wife who thought the woman's place was in the home taking care of her family. She believed that her husband was the provider and that her role was to do anything and everything for him and their children.

In the end, the women learned a lot from swapping families. The first mother learned that she should be more affectionate and in touch with her emotions. She learned that her husband could also work and that she could pitch in with work around the house. The second wife learned that she was no one's slave and that she shouldn't let her family take advantage of her. It's really interesting to just see how other people live their lives. It's crazy to think that there are actually people out there that live like this. But I guess this is a good example that there is always hope that someone can change.

Paradigm

I was doing so much work on all those articles last night that I fell asleep before I remembered to do a blog. My bad. So Paradigm. The definition according to Dictionary.com is "one that serves as a pattern or a model." In relation to the article, I can only assume that this means we are supposed to use it as a paradigm for our papers. All of the articles in the Atlantic were written really well. The structure of the articles was very easy to follow and serves as a great model for what we are supposed to be doing. After talking about it in class today, it's a little less intimidating. Now I can just re-read these articles and take notes on how they are written, what they focus on, and how I can relate them to my own paper.

My topic of consolidation is quite a bit harder than I thought it would be. I chose consolidation because it was the only topic I really had an opinion about. Although I didn't and still don't know a whole lot about the subject, I knew what seemed to be a logical conclusion to the issue. However, it has been a lot harder to find information that is reliable. Most of the things I am finding are people's opinions and are not fact-based. Hopefully I can find something in the books that we were given a list of. Also, re-reading these articles in the Atlantic should help me in organizing my paper.

Porn Nation

So I know I already wrote a blog today, but I'm leaving early tomorrow to go visit my boyfriend for the weekend and I don't want to have to worry about blogging while I'm visiting him. So I'm just going to write two in one day. I just went to the presentation being held in the Rose Theatre called Porn Nation. It was a presentation about sexual addictions and how our society and media promote sex. It was led by Michael Leahy who is a former sexual addict. Personally, I've never really seen a problem with porn. I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as it's not hurting anyone. I don't necessarily agree with that lifestyle, like I'm not jumping at the chance to be a porn star or anything, but I don't really see anything with the occasional porno. I mean I'll admit I've seen one or two and honestly they're more comical than they are arousing.

Well back to the point of this blog. Michael incorporated movie clips into his presentation that showed the realities of porn. Things you wouldn't consider being porn, but actually are. It was just really interesting to see it from a different point of view. He described how he became addicted to porn and how it ruined his marriage and everything in his life. It's just really astonishing that this actually happens to people. To me it's hard to understand how someone can be addicted to something like that. But something you may not know is that sexual addictions are the number one addiction in this country. It's sad to think about how much sex really does run our media and society.

He went on to tell how he was saved by God and that's what turned his life around. It was a bit preachy for me, but at the same time it gives hope to people going through similar struggles. I always try to think why things like this exist. And I definitely think things happen for a reason. This is a key example; if it weren't for Michael's addiction and his willingness to talk about it, many other people might suffer from the same thing and never get help. Because of his openness, he has helped many people realize the dangers of a simple hobby.

Your race, your looks

I found this article so intriguing. It just seems absurd that someone's status in their career could be based from their hair. While it's understandable that certain jobs require a certain dress code, the way you wear your hair should not make a difference. I am not an African American female so I really can not put any personal experiences behind this opinion. I thought it was funny when the woman talked about her mom being white and how she didn't know what to do with her hair. I always say that's going to be me one day; I'll have little mixed babies and have no idea what to do with their hair!! As far as African American women thinking they are "selling out" if they straighten their hair, I don't think that's necessarily true. I think as long as you are doing something because you like it and not to suit someone else, then it's fine. Sometimes I'm jealous of black girls because they have so much variety with their hair. I always wanted to be able to do braids or dreads but they would look disgusting on me.

The main focus of the article, hair in the workplace, is well stated. Unfortunately, in many careers you do have to look a certain way to succeed. But I agree with their statement that generation after generationg, thinks are getting better. Things become more accepted with time. It's kind of similar with the fact that I have piercings on my face. There are a lot of jobs that would not accept that and I would have to take them out. I've had those jobs. And it sucks, but just like the quote from Denzel, sometimes you do have to do things that you don't want to do to get ahead, and once you're ahead you can do what you want. This article was very informative to me, someone who doesn't know much about black womens' hair.

ramblings...what's time?

It's 1:30 in the morning and I haven't written my blog yet. I guess I just haven't really been inspired today. My roommate and I just got back from CK's because I was starving and since I've become somewhat insomniac lately, I was hungry instead of asleep. You know that feeling that you get when you start to think about something and you think about it so much it almost becomes so foriegn, like it doesn't exist anymore? Maybe I'm weird but sometimes I just think about things and if I think about them so in depth, it just becomes this concept and seems like it could never really exist. Like time. I've been thinking about time a lot. Like, I'll be tired in the morning because I probably won't go to sleep until after 3...at least. But once I wake up, and get up, I'll be fine for the rest of the day. And the cycle will start over. Shouldn't I be more tired? I don't think this is really healthy.

Somewhere across the world it's the middle of the day right now. But it doesn't seem like that could be possible. Who invented this thing called time? Where did all the different time zones and stuff come from? I mean it seems like a pretty genious idea whoever came up with the concept for time zones. But then again why can't it be the same time everywhere? Like why can't it be 1:41 am in China right now? I mean, their am would just be the opposite from here and it would really mean daytime, but it would still be the same time. I just find it so weird. I don't know really. I don't know why I'm still awake. I don't know why I'm talking about time. I actually think I'm getting kind of tired. Maybe I'll actually be able to go to sleep tonight.

Public schools are what's failing

“The failure of public schools is not ruining society. The failure of society has ruined the public schools.”

I think the statement can go both ways. I don't think it's fair to blame society for all the problems of public schools. In fact I think it's mostly the other way around. I can see maybe a few points that would support society's failure, but I think the main problem is in that of public schools. Public schools for the most part in this country, especially in Memphis, are failing. Literally, they have failing rates on standardized tests. But more than that I think they are failing students all around. I hated high school. I will admit I'm a slacker and I'm not trying to blame anyone else for my lack of determination, but I think if scools had challenged us more from the beginning, I might have a better work ethic. It was so easy to pass high school it's not even funny. There were people that missed school more than they came that passed. That doesn't seem fair to those of us who went every single day. The teachers, for the most part, seemed to care less that they were supposed to be teaching us and let us get away with everything short of murder. We used to persuade our French teacher that we didn't feel like taking the test so she would just shrug and say ok, she'd give it to us next week. Schools are too focused on our dress code, whether or not our shirt is tucked in and if we have a belt on, and things like that that seem to have no affect on our education; rather than focusing on the actual thing at hand: teaching. Because we learned how to "just get by" in high school, a lot of people leave with that attitude and think they can "just get by" in college. I admit, sometimes I'm one of those people. But I watch our school's athletes in my classes. They think since they're athletes, they are automatically going to be drafted in a few years, therefore they don't need to take notes, they don't need to pay attention, hell, they don't even need to be in class. It really pisses me off. But where did they get that attitude? I saw it at my high school. The athletes got away with everything. They were never penalized for bad grades or missing school because they were needed to give our school a good name at the game on Friday. If you compare our school system to those in other countries, it's really sad. It's easy why most of the world thinks we're just "dumb Americans." Compared to them, we are. Many of them speak 3 or 4 languages by the time they get out of high school. We can't even speak English properly. It's really sad. And I think that is what has failed our economy. If people were expected to do more in public schools, we would have a more educated society. I see my friends that went to private school and they have a much less hard time than I do with this whole college thing. We took the same classes in high school, so why do I (who made straight A's in public school) need help from my friends who made c's all the way through private school? It's really just sad.

Sicko (again)

I wrote a blog last semester about a movie critique I had read about the movie "Sicko." I didn't see the movie until tonight though. We were offered extra credit to go see the movie "Sicko", playing at Rhodes, for our UNHP class. I was really excited because I had been wanting to see it ever since I read that article last semester. I'm still in awe. The movie is a real eye-opener and really gets you thinking. For those of you who know nothing of this movie, it is a documentary by Michael Moore of our country's health care system/health insurance. Many people are anti-Michael Moore because of his controversial ideas, but he really seems to stick to the facts and while he does show his opinions, I would consider them the opinions of the American people, not just his.

It really made me angry and sad to watch this movie and see the things that happen to uninsured Americans. Even those who are insured are not always fully covered. The movie documented stories of families who faced bankruptcy and death of loved ones all because their health insurance wouldn't pay for medicine or operations. All of this is a result of greedy insurance companies. They refuse to pay for needed medical assistance and even look for reasons why you shouldn't be covered to save them money. Isn't the point of health insurance to pay for medicare that you can not afford? It really just makes you sick to see the things that result when insurance companies refuse to pay. To see the type of people that suffer and the things they go through all because an insurance company wants to make a dollar.

What really makes you angry is to see all the countries that provide free healthcare to its citizens. That's right, absolutely FREE. Canada, Great Britain, France, even Cuba provide free healthcare. No more than 10 dollars in these countries get you the tests, surgeries, medications, etc. that you might need to survive a healthy life. You would think in such a developed and rich country as ours is, we would be able to receive free healthcare. But no, the United States is number 37 when it comes to ranking of good healthcare systems. In France you get a minimum of 5 paid weeks of vacation. This has nothing to do with sick days. There is no such thing as sick days in fact, because if you are sick, who's to tell you how long you can be sick for?

Obviously our country has some serious issues in the healthcare department. What are these other countries doing? Why can't our government learn from their example? The movie is full of comical relief. I think the best was when they showed how many American citizens do not get coverage they need, therefore do not get the medicare they need; but then went on to show Gauntanama Bay where they held a dozen Al Quida terrorists on American soil in a penetentiary where they received the best medical attention available. That's what really makes you wonder. How corrupt is your healthcare system when the terrorists are getting better medical attention than you are? It is really sickening.

I really encourage anyone who hasn't seen this movie to go out and rent it. And while I'm not sure what I can do to change this, it is something worth looking into. If it doesn't change I might just be packing up for France in the near future.

Insomnia

Lately I've been having a problem falling asleep at night. I don't know what it is but I just can't go to sleep. The other day I was up until about 5 am until I finally fell asleep. And because I was up so late I didn't hear my alarm go off, thus I missed english class. Then last night I had the same problem. I wasn't up as late as 5 but I still had a hard time going to sleep. I hate just sitting in bed waiting to fall asleep. And there's nothing on tv that late so I can't even watch tv. I really don't know what's causing this insomiac-ish behavior. hopefully I'll be able to go to sleep tonight. I guess in college you're naturally on a weird sleep schedule anyway with different class times everyday, and different things to do at night. It's really just hard to establish a consistent sleep pattern. I guess that's what comes along with the college life.

On the other hand, because of my insomnia, I was one of the first to hear of the writers' strike being over! I was watching late night insider and heard the amazing news! I can't wait until Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, and Pushing Daisies finally come back on the air. They said some shows may not be back on until March and as late as April; but the point is they're coming back!!!!

Total Disappointment...

So today is Valentine's Day. Whatever that's supposed to mean. This day was completely worthless. Valentine's Day is supposed to be all about love. Well it didn't feel like that at all. First of all, my boyfriend lives four and a half hours away, so needless to say I didn't get to spend the evening with him. On top of that I haven't even talked to him all day. He texted me to tell me happy valentine's day and that's it. I didn't get a present, a card, nothing. I on the other hand, shopped online a month ago to find his present, ordered it 2-day express, and then shipped it to him to be sure he would get it in time. He hasn't even called me to thank me or anything! This day is totally lame. He really just doesn't have any kind of romantic inclination at all and it kind of sucks. I don't know why I always think he'll surprise me, because I know him. I guess I just always expect it to be like a movie where I'll open my door in the morning and he'll be standing there with flowers or something. But no, nothing. Super lame. Whatever, I'm just ready to go to sleep and get this day over with. There's only 15 minutes left in this lame, overrated day. I was just totally disappointed....but whatever. I'll get over it. F valentine's day!

Responsibility

I know I don't always act like it but I feel very blessed. Tonight I picked up my brother and went to eat dinner at our church with our mother. My church does this lenten dinner series where every Wednesday night during lent they have a dinner at the church, followed by a speaker. Tonight's speaker was Joe Birch from the news. It was interesting. But that's not the point of my story at all. My brother is 23 years old and is entirely on his own and broke. We're really close, my brother and I, and we started talking about things while I drove him back out to his house after church. He was talking about how incredibly broke he is and thinking back now, I can't remember a time when he wasn't broke. My brother always seems to do things the hard way, which I guess is ok for me because I learn what NOT to do from him. My brother went to Memphis College of Art after high school. In case you aren't familiar, it's a very expensive private art school. He's never been that into school so he partied a lot and didn't go to class and ultimately failed a lot of courses. My parents were paying for things at the time but after that they told him he had to pay for school. Of course, this was very hard for my brother. Needless to say he has yet to graduate from college. Because he has to pay himself now, he has to take time off school to work and make money and once he's saved up enough he'll take a few courses, then take time off again to make money, and so forth. I on the other hand have always been really good with money. I also don't pay for school or insurance or for my cell phone or for rent or for my car; basically I pay for what I want. In that, I feel blessed. I really don't tell my parents how much I appreciate it, nor do I act like it, but I really do. After talking to my brother, I realize I could be paying loans, and tuition, and many other things, but I don't. My brother told me tonight that he hates being an adult. He hates all the responsiblity that comes along with it. I think we're all too quick to want to grow up and be on our own but we don't realize the kind of responsibility that comes with it until we're there ourselves. I remember I used to hate it when my mom would by the store brand instead of name-brand stuff. Now you don't see me buying anything name brand because it's coming out of my pocket. I didn't understand things like that when I didn't have any responsibilities. I guess it's one of those things that comes with age. No one wants it, but it's inevitable.

Let's Not Get Out the Vote

Right off the bat, the argument becomes very clear and is a good one at that. The argument is that of whether or not we should be required to vote. The speaker seems to be just an average citizen who believes that we should not be required to vote. They go on to explain why with a very intelligent argument. The speaker doesn't have to necessarily have a political affiliation. The argument for not voting if you are not well-informed seems like it could come from someone affiliated with any political party. It's not about the party, it's about your knowledge in the election.

The author is speaking to the general public. He is probably reaching out to speak more closely to those who do vote when they are not well-informed. He wants to get across the point that by voting, you are not doing a civic duty. Your duty is to know the election, the candidates, their stances and opinions. Then, and only then, should you vote. It is important for every citizen to realize this.

The media plays a huge part today in voter turnout. The campaign "Vote or Die" for example was a huge campaign in the last presidential election geared towards young Americans. Celebrities donned shirts with the catchphrase and it became more of a fashion statement than a political one. The purpose of "Vote or Die" was to get young adults to get out and vote in an important election. However, the campaign promoted nothing about gathering knowledge of the candidates before voting. It wasn't called "Once you've learned everything you can about each candidate, Vote or Die". A lot of young people who would be voting for the first time may have gotten the wrong idea from this campaign. The idea that it doesn't matter who you're voting for or what you know about them as long as you vote.

The arguement of this essay is that one should be well-informed of an election before voting. If you have no desire to learn anything about the election and it's candidates, then you should not vote. Many people have the misconception that you must vote or you are being a bad citizen. The article explains how in truth, you are being a bad citizen if you do vote without the correct knowledge. I completely agree with this arguement. I just voted for the first time last week in the primary election for presidency. I don't think I was as informed as I could be, but I knew about the candidate I was voting for. I agree with that candidates views for the most part. I will admit, I could know more about the opposing candidates. I promised myself that sicne this is the first election I can vote in, that I would try to gain as much knowledge about it as possible. It's harder than it looks because there are a lot of factors that can sway your vote. I do think it is very important though to know as much as possible or you should just stay home on election day. Why have people who don't know anything about the election voting for candidates that you may not want to win? That's like me going to England today and voting in their local election after not knowing anything about it.

In the first paragraph of this essay, you realize it was not written recently when the author mentions President Eisenhower. In a way it's surprising that this was written in 1955 because the author is so knowledgable. I don't know if it's just me, but there seems to be a misconception that people 50+ years ago were not as knowledgable because they didn't have the resources we have today. It's impressive that this author has such an intelligent argument.

Also, it shows us that even though this was written over 50 years ago, the same thing applies today. Obviously people were just as ignorant about the issue back then. It's kind of sad to think not much has changed in 50 years. People still think it's your duty to vote. There's a phrase that people say that if you don't vote, you can't complain about the outcome. I agree with that, but I think too many people vote merely because of that and not because they know what they are voting for. If you can't take the time to learn about an election and it's candidates, then no, you have no room to complain when they stick an idiot in office. But that shouldn't be your sole reason for voting.

I guess the important thing is to get the message across that by not voting, you may be performing a civic duty, just as you would by voting. Become knowledgable about the election, it's candidates, and the facts before you just cast an empty-minded vote.

Calling all rich men...

I seem to be having a hard time figuring out this whole college thing. I feel so lost. I haven't yet decided what I want to major in and it's really stressing me out. I started out majoring in Vocal performance because foe as long as I can remember singing has been my life. Singing is the only thing I've known I was good at and thought I could make a career out of. But last semester just totally changed my mind. The only thing I would ever want to do with music is sing; I don't want to be a teacher or conductor or anything. And the odds of having a well-paying job just singing are very slim. So I realized last semester I would be putting in a lot of work for something that wouldn't necessarily get me a good job. And I know the saying "It doesn't matter how much money you make as long as it makes you happy" but I really can't accept that. No I don't want some boring cubicle job just because it makes me tons of money, but I don't think I would be happy with a job that I didn't make a lot of money at. I would always be stressing out about money and bills and that would cancel out my love of the job. So I decided my heart wasn't in Vocal performance.

So that's where everything got messed up. I'm a very organized person, almost to the point of OCD. When things aren't organized or planned out to the tiniest details, I freak. So I'm kind of in freak out mode. I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I had it all planned out to major in Vocal performance and become an opera singer and now that's changed. I can't think of anything that I would be interested in doing for the rest of my life. Another problem is that I'm not very motivated. I expect things to come very easily to me because for most of my life they have, and I guess that was my down-fall. Because now I expect my classes to be easy and for me just to understand everything and I don't. That's what's stressing me out. It's hard for me to actually work and study, especially when I don't know what I'm working towards. Everyone tells me I'm only a freshman and I shouldn't worry about it right now because lots of people change their majors. But this isn't me. I've always had a plan.

So now school just kind of depresses me. I always joke about finding a rich man and just marrying him and dropping out of school. I won't need a job then because I'll have a rich husband! I know I could be a good wife and a good mom and I don't have to go to college for that. That seems like the only thing I know I could do. Don't get me wrong, I want to have a job. I'm kidding when I tell people I just want to live off of a rich man...for the most part anyways. It just seems like that would be the easy thing to do. I want to have a college degree, but I hate going through the classes I don't care about and trying to figure out what to do with my life. It keeps me constantly stressing out. I like going out of town a lot because I get to escape and not think about school and all the things I have to do. I know that's bad, but I can't help it. So until I figure out this thing called life, I guess all I can do is pray for a rich man.

Maturity

I've kept a journal for about 5 years now. I don't write in it every day, but I write in it whenever something happens in my life that I feel like I need to write about. It's my most prized possession. No one has ever read it but me. It's like I'm talking to myself, the only person who knows every thought and feeling that goes on in my mind, the only person who TRUELY understands everything I've ever been through. It's a way for me to sort out my feelings and help me figure out things. Well occasionally when I'm bored I pull out my books (there are two binders full of entries...about to be three) and just read from months and years ago. It's an escape back to a time where I didn't know what my future held. It's interesting to look back and see how much I've changed and how different a person I am today. I started writing in eigth grade. So it goes through every boyfriend, friend, fight, etc. that has happened since then. The thing I notice more than anything reading back on it now is how much I've matured. I think maturity is such a valuable trait to have. Girls, naturally, mature faster than boys. I feel like I have the maturity level of a 30 year old whereas most guys my age act like they have the maturity of a 13 year old. I think maturity is such a hard think to master. I look at my journal and see the silly things I would get upset about in high school and the petty things I would do. I also look back on previous relationships that I've written about, and realize how naive I was. It takes a lot of maturity to be in a meaningful relationship and after a year and a half with my boyfriend I think I'm finally finding that place of maturity that makes us work.

Last night, after turning the tv off and finally dozing off to sleep, my roommate and I were awakened by the screaming voices of girls. Within the next few minutes we realized that there was some kind of altercation happening down the hall...about 10 rooms down. The RA came in and asked to borrow our phone and called the campus police to come sort out and break up the fight. The only thing I could think is who does that? That's some high school....no, middle school bullshit right there. My roommate and I were just appalled that these college girls were fighting so loudly that we could hear it all the way down the hall...and it had been going on for about and hour and a half. I just think it's so immature. To not be able to work something out without having to scream and disrupt others and throw lotion bottles at each other (yes, they were throwing lotion bottles...I know right?). I just seems so juvenile.

I'm not saying I have to maturing to do. I certainly do. I just think it's so important to value maturity and strive towards it. I like escaping to that world where I'm still 14 and I'm naive and think I'm going to be with my current 14-year-old boyfriend for the rest of my life. But I'm glad I'm where I am now, and I'm curious as to what I'll be reading about myself in 10 years.

Reading at Otherland's

I went to hear DiAnne Malone and Torie Sanford-Finch tonight at Otherland's. I walked in and saw Sarah and Jenn sitting against the far wall, so I went to sit by them. I was a few minutes late but luckily they hadn't started yet, so I didn't interrupt anything. DiAnne went first. She sat down at the table and proceeded to read from her laptop. She read a non-fiction piece about the day her mother died. After she had been reading for a few minutes, it became clear that her story was not about her mother's funeral, in fact, it was about her father and his presence in her life. She told the story of how her father taught her how to ride a bike on the day her mother died and then left her to stay with her grandmother. She continued to talk about the gifts that her father sent her over the years and how she resented him for leaving her. She also told how her father was always at the events she needed him at; graduation, her wedding. Her writing was very straightforward. It was really easy to understand. Even when she switched back in forth to different stories in different times, she seemed to have a way to make it known what she was talking about. I really enjoyed her reading. It seemed easy to realte to her and understand how she realyl felt.

Next, Torie read a handful of poems she had written. The poems, keeping with the upcoming holiday, were about love and relationships. The poetry was harder for me to follow. She didn't have much of a pause between poems, so I found myself confused as to what poem she was reading. The words seemed to run together and nothing really stuck in my head. I just couldn't grasp anything because once I got the idea of the poem, it was over and she was aready half way into something else. Her words were eloquent but it might have been more effective to read just a few or mayeb a longer one. I enjoyed listening to the two women read though.

UNHP

As an honors student at the University of Memphis, I am required to take the courses UNHP 1101 and 1102, among other honors requirements, in order to graduate with honors. UNHP stands for University honors program and is a humanities class about globalization. Personally, I think it is the most useless and boring class I've ever had to take and I think it's ridiculous that we are required to take it. The class meets every Tuesday and Thursday. The Tuesday class is a large lecture class with 6 professors. Each week a different professor makes a lecture about some random thing about the world or its countries. Then on Thursdays we meet in a smaller section with one of the assigned teachers to talk about the lecture, talk about readings that are required for us to read, and do activites. It sounds like a good idea that should make us more weel-rounded right? Well it's not. We sit through the lectures in pain. It is quite possibly the most boring thing I've ever had to sit and listen to. Not to mention it lasts an hour and a half. Then we're required to read an article equally as boring to prepare for Thursday's class. The readings have been anywhere from 3 to 45 pages long. Yes, 45 pages. It just seems so pointless. The professors that teach the class are anthropologists, geologists, etc. I'm sorry to say, and I know this sounds really bad, but what 19-year-old college kid cares anything about some random tribe in the deserts of Africa that wears only a string around their waste. I mean that's great and all to learn about other cultures but I honestly don't care. Tuesday we sat in class and listened to our awkward professor talk about other cultures sex habits....I never want to hear the word "ejaculation" out of my professors mouth again. AWKWARD. I just really don't see the relevance of this class. I understand what they are trying to accomplish, but they need to think of a better way to do it.

I just read one of the readings for tomorrow's class. It's about this society called the Nacirema who obsess about the human body and consider it an ugly thing. The reading went on to describe all their weird rituals like drilling holes in one's teeth and filling them with magic herbs or else they fear their teeth will rot and their gums will bleed. They believe in secrecy of bodily functions so they have shrines in their homes and that is where they perform any kind of body excretion in private. Not even their spouses ever see this. It was so weird.

I'm not trying to say I'm some ignorant person that doesn't care about other cultures. I know that's what it sounds like. But the way they teach it to us in this class just bores us to death and makes us not really care. I think it's good to learn about other cultures and understand why other people do things differently than we do. I just wish they could figure out a way to make this more interesting to us so we don't dread going to class everyday. I sympathize with everyone that has to take UNHP.

Naturdal disaster...?

Everyone has been kind of crazy today with all the tornado sirens and everything. I don't know why everyone gets so freaked out anytime they hear there's a tornado warning. I mean really, it's Memphis...this kind of weather always happens. Everyone got all excited thinking school would be cancelled....and yeah it was for the night; AFTER most classes were already over. People make too big a hype over this stuff. I admit it gets kind of creepy when the sirens go off and the sky is black, but people freak out so muc that they don't use common sense. I was at the post office applying for a passport when the sirens started going off and it was raining really hard. They closed the doors and so we were pretty much locked in the post office. I guess I wasn't really freaking out because I've been through tornados before. I know the drill. I guess I just don't really think anything bad is going to happen. You never really do until something happens. So I guess until I get swept away by a tornado, heaven forbid, I'm not really going to freak out about it.

[ok so I just spent 20 minutes sitting in the hallway waiting for something to happen...nothing did]

this just proves my point. They made us all go sit in the hall for no reason. They don't know what they're doing. I really just don't know what else to say about the situation. This is so stupid.

The Magic Flute

This weekend I got some very exciting news. Well it started a couple weeks ago when I was in choir and we got some information about the opera that the music school is doing in April. They said they needed 5 women and 5 men to sing in the chorus and said anyone that was interested should stop by and let them hear our voice. Well I was really interested because opera is what I've been interested in for a while now and it's an opera that I really like; The Magic Flute by Mozart. So I emailed the head of the opera department to let him know I was interested, but I wasn't really expecting anything because they only needed 5 women and they already had more than 10 interested. So I waited for an email back, and waited, and waited. I never heard anything. (Turns out he had really emailed me back, but my school email got switched to the new system and I didn't know that, so I was still checking my old email and nothing was getting through. I finally realized what had happened, and I must say I don't really like the new email system, but thats another story completely.) Well since I wasn't hearing from him, I thought I would drop by and make sure he got my email. He said he had and we wanted me to come in and hear me sing. So last Tuesday I went to his office and he just had me sing Happy Birthday in a few different keys. After I sang he told me about another role in the opera. There are three spirits that were written to be played by children but over the years young women have played the roles. He told me that when they decided to do this opera, they decided they wanted it to be as it was originally written, and planned on putting children in the roles. But after telling me all this, he asked me if I might be interested in one of those roles instead of the chorus; since I'm pretty petite, I could pull off looking like a child. Of course I said yes, I would take anything. But he said he still had other people to listen to and would let me know by the beginning of this week. Well Friday I was checking my email and to my surprise I had and email saying they wanted me to play one of the spirits! I was so excited!! It's a slightly bigger role than being in the chorus, and I wasn't even expecting to get that, so I was super excited. Not to mention I get paid $650 to be in it!!! I can't wait. I'm not really worried about it being a big time restraint or anything. In high school we did plays and we would rehearse every night until around midnight for about 3 1/2 months straight. This opera starts rehearsing after spring break and only rehearses a few weeks before opening. So I really can't wait. It shows on Friday, April 18 and Sunday, April 20....so you should definitely come see it and see me!!!

Best Friends

http://anotherworkingmom.blogspot.com/2008/01/long-distance.html

I've found it somewhat difficult to write about these Memphis blogs this week. They're kind of boring. And when I actually thought of things to write about I remembered I had to write about the Memphis blogs. And I'm guessing from the lack of comments I've gotten this week, no one else thought they were that interesting either. But I found this article and I guess it was something I could relate to..or maybe in the future. The woman writing it was talking about her best friends who live very far from her. I have a ton of friends but I would only consider one or two my best friends. And I know eventually we'll grow up, get married, have kids, and maybe move away. It's hard to imagine who is going to be your friend in 10 years and where your friends are going to end up. It's especially hard to think that your best friend won't be right around the corner anymore. You won't be able to share clothes or go clubbing and such. But everyone grows up and has their own life. You can only hope to maintain that relationship once you've moved away.