Visitation

I'm so tired right now. It's been a long day. And now I only have one more day to get through and then I'm leaving to go to Tampa for a week. But before I get too carried away with that, I wanted to talk a little bit about what I did tonight and how it got me thinking. On Monday my mother called me to inform me the husband of a woman she teaches with had unexpectedly passed away. The woman is a close friend of my mother's and has also played piano for me before. It really is a sad story. The woman had been at the hospital with her youngest daughter who was sick with the flu, when she got a phone call saying that her older daughter had found her husband dead on the bathroom floor in what was an apparent heart attack. They didn't do an autopsy but it was apparent that he had likely died from a heart attack. He had been in remission from cancer and many times chemo weakens the heart. In addition, he was overweight which added to the weakness of his heart; unfortunately it was too much to survive the heart attack.

Tonight my mother and I went to the visitation together. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. We walked in the door and there were hundreds of people. Then we relalized they were all standing in line. They were standing in a line that wrapped around the entire main room, through smaller rooms, hallways, and on and on until finally reaching the room with the casket. I couldn't believe how many people were there. I mean I've been to visitations and funerals before but this was amazing. It must have been so touching to his family to know that he touched so many lives. He was a drama teacher at a local high school, so many of the students were there. There were also people from my mother's school to support their friend who was sitting by the casket grasciously greeting each and every person that came through. I really just can't imagine how she did it. I don't know how I could cope with losing the love of my life. It really makes you think about things.

I started thinking about it; and everytime something like this happens, I always think about it. I almost get into this sort of funk where that's all I can think about for days. I just don't know how I could go on if I lost that one person that meant the world to me. It makes every little fight you have with someone seem so unimportant. What if you had a fight with someone and then they died without resolving it. Wouldn't that be the worst feeling in the world? I just can't stop thinking about things like that. It's really sad. I know that everyone dies eventually but I hate thinking about it, as do most people. I just feel so bad for their family. It must be the worst feeling in the world. I really don't know how I could get through something like that.