Maturity

I've kept a journal for about 5 years now. I don't write in it every day, but I write in it whenever something happens in my life that I feel like I need to write about. It's my most prized possession. No one has ever read it but me. It's like I'm talking to myself, the only person who knows every thought and feeling that goes on in my mind, the only person who TRUELY understands everything I've ever been through. It's a way for me to sort out my feelings and help me figure out things. Well occasionally when I'm bored I pull out my books (there are two binders full of entries...about to be three) and just read from months and years ago. It's an escape back to a time where I didn't know what my future held. It's interesting to look back and see how much I've changed and how different a person I am today. I started writing in eigth grade. So it goes through every boyfriend, friend, fight, etc. that has happened since then. The thing I notice more than anything reading back on it now is how much I've matured. I think maturity is such a valuable trait to have. Girls, naturally, mature faster than boys. I feel like I have the maturity level of a 30 year old whereas most guys my age act like they have the maturity of a 13 year old. I think maturity is such a hard think to master. I look at my journal and see the silly things I would get upset about in high school and the petty things I would do. I also look back on previous relationships that I've written about, and realize how naive I was. It takes a lot of maturity to be in a meaningful relationship and after a year and a half with my boyfriend I think I'm finally finding that place of maturity that makes us work.

Last night, after turning the tv off and finally dozing off to sleep, my roommate and I were awakened by the screaming voices of girls. Within the next few minutes we realized that there was some kind of altercation happening down the hall...about 10 rooms down. The RA came in and asked to borrow our phone and called the campus police to come sort out and break up the fight. The only thing I could think is who does that? That's some high school....no, middle school bullshit right there. My roommate and I were just appalled that these college girls were fighting so loudly that we could hear it all the way down the hall...and it had been going on for about and hour and a half. I just think it's so immature. To not be able to work something out without having to scream and disrupt others and throw lotion bottles at each other (yes, they were throwing lotion bottles...I know right?). I just seems so juvenile.

I'm not saying I have to maturing to do. I certainly do. I just think it's so important to value maturity and strive towards it. I like escaping to that world where I'm still 14 and I'm naive and think I'm going to be with my current 14-year-old boyfriend for the rest of my life. But I'm glad I'm where I am now, and I'm curious as to what I'll be reading about myself in 10 years.