Heath Ledger is dead?!

I was getting dressed today to go to the gym with my friend Meg. If you know me at all you know I'm not the type to go to the gym...I never work out. But I've decided instead of being anorexic, I need to find a new way to lose weight. (P.S. I was never anorexic....I just mean I wouldn't want to resort to that). Well like I said, I was getting dressed when Meg came to my room and the first thing she said was "Heath Ledger is dead!" I was like what? How can this be? Such a young, handsome, seemingly healthy man is dead at 28. They haven't officially stated the cause of death, but found sleeping pills near the body and suspect an overdose. Others are speculating suicide. It's just so shocking that someone so prominent in the social scene could just die. It's almost as shocking as Anna Nichole Smith's death. I guess people just think celebrities are immortal and will never die, when in reality they are just like us. Which is scary to think. Because if they can just up and die, so can we.

It's really scary to think about dying. I don't know. Sometimes I get in this weird funk where I think about what would happen if I died. I mean obviously I wouldn't know any difference because I would be dead. But I can't imagine not being here anymore. What's even weirder is thinking about what would happen when you die. I'm a christian...not a very devoted one unfortunately, but a christian and I believe that Jesus died for our sins and that if you accept God as your creator and forgiver, that you will go to heaven. What scares me though is the thought of eternity. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in heaven for all ETERNITY. It's really unfathomable to me. Like what does your soul do up there for millions and millions and millions...etc....of years? I kind of don't like the idea of that. I almost would rather just die and my soul be dead too and so I wouldn't just be flying around in the clouds forever. It seems like that might get boring. I like the idea of reincarnation. Like I would come back to live as someone else. That might be cool.

I think about what would happen if someone really close to me died. I honestly don't know how I would go on. If my boyfriend died I think I would fall apart. I really don't think I could function anymore after that. Same if like my brother or best friend died. But you don't really think about that when you're at a party popping pills (I don't do that in case you were wondering) or letting your friend drive you around drunk. We as humans think we're immortal and we're not. Just like Heath Ledger, we can and will die. Take the time to think about that before you make dumb decisions. Don't take 10 aspirin when you have a headache. Don't go 95 mph on a winding mountain road. I'm really bad at that whole speeding thing...I've got to watch that. I'm a true believer of everything happens for a reason and if I'm meant to die, then that's just what's supposed to happen. But like my mom always says, you don't have to put yourself in situations where it's more likely for something bad to happen to you. Like don't go walking around downtown by yourself at 3 am if you're a tiny little white girl....that's just asking for trouble. This whole Heath Ledger thing just got me thinking again about all this death stuff...it kind of weirds me out thinking about it. It's just so crazy to think that he's actually dead.