Familia

So I suppose I'm running a few blog posts behind. I posted my list and now it's time for my story. My group's Wendy minutes (as Daniel calls them) ran out so we didn't choose a point of interest on my list. But they kind of all fit in together so I'm just going to write a collaboration of thew points. Our group's common theme was "Family".

So a little background on my family might help you all. Growing up I lived with my dad, my mom, and my big brother Alex. I also have two half-sisters from my dad's previous marriage but they are a bit older: one is 35 and the other is like 40 I think. My family works like if my mom says something it goes. We might as well not ask my dad anything because all he would say is "ask your mother". And if she wasn't home, well we were just out of luck. My mom was really strict. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she grew up with in a Navy family with very conservative parents. Who knows. But I always had rules. Rules on top of rules. "Call me when you get there, call me when you leave, call me if things change". Why don't I just put you on speaker phone and you can pretend like you're with me all night? I mean really. So needless to say once I was in high school and I was the only child left at home, I was getting pretty sick of all the rules.

My brother and one of my sisters were kind of my saving grace whenever my mom would drive me crazy. I'm really close to both of them so they always had advice for me. My mom was never the kind of mom that I would tell things to. I hated it when she would ask me how my day was or pretty much ask me anything because I pretty much just hated talking to her. I never tried to sound like a bitch to her, it just came out that way because I was so annoyed. We fought all the damn time. No matter what we were doing, we would end up fighting. Her rules were really ridiculous especially me being like a senior in high school and she still felt the need to call people's parents when I went to their house. Just stupid things like that...I could go on to name all the dumb and ridiculous rules, but that might take a while.

My dad...well I wouldn't really say we're close because we don't really talk about anything but we get along really well. Much better than my mother and I. My dad knew that I was responsible and smart and so he never felt the need to place restrictions on me. But he never stood up for me against my mom. I mean he's my parent too...I never understood why he couldn't make the rules. It kind of sucked. Because he would tell me that he thought my moms rules were ridiculous and she should trust me more, considering I had never done anything to break her trust, but yet he would never say that to her. So I just had to go along with her dumb rules.

Once my senior year hit, I was pretty much just through with her rules. I told myself I pretty much just didn't care what she said anymore. So I did pretty much what I wanted. If she said no, then I would yell at her until she would just break down and pretty much cry and then I just left. She always called my grandmother and cried to her and told her whatever happened. Then I would wait for my grandmother to call me or send me a letter saying how I should appreciate my mom because she does a lot for me and blah blah blah. I stopped answering calls from my grandmother because she kept trying to make me feel bad but she didn't understand what it was like to live under her rules. My grandparents are very conservative and Baptist and my grandmother lectures me all the time on things that don't really apply to my moral/belief system. So whenever she would cal me I would just say ok and try to bite my tongue.

Last summer I started dating my boyfriend who is black. I didn't really know how that would go over with my parents. I knew my grandparents would freak but my parents aren't really as old-fashioned as they are so I wasn't quite sure how they would react. Well when my boyfriend came to pick me up for our first date and he walked in the door (and my parents didn't know he was black before this point) you could tell that my mom was thinking "what the fuck?!" while at the same time trying to be polite. After that she tried to change my mind and mention things like "maybe you should date someone that's the same color as you". But I pretty much ignored everything she said. I wasn't going to let color affect the way I felt about someone. She tells my grandparents everything, but she didn't tell them that. It was like she was ashamed. When she told people about him she would refer to him as my "friend". So needless to say that didn't make us any closer. Eventually she got over it, I mean I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now and I mean she never really says anything about it.

I think over time just all of her rules and ridiculousness just pushed me away to the point where I don't even want to talk to her anymore unless I have to. Even when I try to go out with her for a nice lunch or movie or something and try to have a nice time with her, we end up fighting. Thank God I don't live with her anymore. But I don't think I'll ever be able to be friends with my mom. I will never confide in her. I will never tell her about things in my life besides the basic necessary things for her to know. It's kind of sad. Because most of my friends are really close to their moms and they tell them everything and half of them go out clubbing and drinking with their moms and I just think "I would never ever be on that leverl with my mom". My brother used to not like my mom either but since he moved out he's found it easier to talk to her. But I know I'll never be like that. I just can not stand the woman.

So I guess my story isn't really depressing. I didn't have a "hsrd-knock life" by any means....nothing to feel sorry about. But that's just how I feel about it. Sorry it was so long. I think my typing/internet grammar has improved to Wendy standards...I hope anyways.