writer strike

So apparently there's this writer strike going on in Hollywood. It sucks. If they don't fix this, eventually our shows are going to stop. If all the writers stop writing, the shows will stop. Then the actors will be out of work. And not to mention our favorite shows will cease to exist!! I mean last night Private Practice didn't come on. And I heard a rumor that tonight Grey's Anatomy is going to be a repeat! It better not be a repeat tonight or I'm going to be pissed! I mean last week was supposed to be part one of a two-part show. If there's no second part tonight, then we won't know what happened!!!! I can't stand for this. I mean these people deserve to be paid right? I really don't know why they are on strike. I'm assuming it's because they aren't being paid enough. But seriously, I don't really care why they are on strike as long as they get over it so I don't miss any of my favorite shows. Desperate Housewives is apparently written through December, but what happens after that? I don't know what will happen, but nothing good can come of this. Grey's Anatomy is my favorite show. It can't just end. What am I going to do? I mean maybe it's sad that I rely on television so much...but you have to admit...you're scared too! What will happen to television as we know it if these writers don't go back to work? So I guess we'll see if Grey's Anatomy comes on tonight...if it doesn't, I will be furious!

STILL?

I talked to Daniel and Meg today after class and it really just got me thinking. It's something I've thought about before, and everytime I think about it, it STILL makes me mad. It started when I was telling them something that happened last Wednesday. Last Wednesday I had a party. One of my really close friends was there, I'm not going to say his real name, so I'll call him Jake...you'll see why. They party was going good, everyone was having fun. Daniel and his best friend (who is also my friend, and happens to be gay too) came. Now Jake is very prejudice and I knew this, I just have always chosen to ignore it. He's one of those people that is always going to think what they want no matter what you say, so I just ignore him and never try to change his mind when he says prejudice comments. Well he had a problem with Daniel and his friend being there because they are gay. I'm not even going to mention the obscene comment that Jake said when they arrived, because it's just so uncalled for and completely appalling that people still say things like that. Well I was in the kitchen with Daniel and Jake and some other people when Jake starting quizing Daniel. He first asked him if he went to church, in which Daniel replied 'no'...which Jake then said "well that explains it"...At that point I just told Jake to stop talking. Because that comment was totally unnecessary and I was embarrassed that he was saying this in front of Daniel. At some point he also mentioned that Daniel and his friend were going to hell. That did it for me. It was totally uncalled for. I told Jake to get out. If he was going to be rude to my friends, which in turn is disrespecting me, I didn't need him there. I told him to leave. He didn't budge. I started yelling. Just FYI, I don't yell at people like I yelled at him. I'm not an angry person, I do not scream at people (except my parents occasionally), especially not my friends...which he was supposed to be. As I became more enraged, he just stood there kind of grinning, like it was amusing to him how angry I was. I told him it wasn't funny and I wasn't laughing and he needed to get out. Still, he stood there as if he were deaf. I grabbed the drink out of his hand and threw it. Everyone at the party was silent. They were all watching. My brother was there and started to realize that I was serious. He knew this was a big deal because he knows I don't yell at people like that. Again, I told him to leave. He said he wasn't leaving because his ride wasn't leaving. I told him I didn't care how long his ride stayed, but if they didn't want to leave, then he could go sit on the front lawn for all I cared. At that point I was so furious that my brother pulled him out of the room to talk to him and everyone else tried to calm me down.

As I told them the story, Daniel and Meg were shocked. Daniel was there, but he wasn't sure exactly what had happened...so I was recapping him. It's just so astounding that people still think that way. Hasn't our world progressed past this? My favorite part of the whole thing (and when I say favorite...I'm being facisous) was when Jake tried to quote the bible for me. He said "do you want me to show you the scripture where it says gay people are condemned to hell?" At that I asked him if he wanted me to show him the scripture where you aren't supposed to have premarital sex...something he had done. Or the part where you aren't supposed to drink, which he was doing at that very moment. Apparently only certain scriptures in the bible are important. Afterwards I got to thinking about it. Jake tried to call me for days after the party and I never answered. Finally he sent me a message on facebook and I wrote him a response. I asked him if he forgot to read the part of the bible where no one has the right to judge except for God. Or maybe he missed the part about no sin is greater than another sin....which means if they are going to hell, then he is going to hell for his sins too because they are just as great as theirs. I told him maybe next time he should get all the facts straight before he decided to quote the bible. I just find it completely ridiculous that someone could say those things and act that way towards someone they don't even know. I hate ignorance. And his comments were completely ignorant. I'm not perfect, but I'm also not going around preaching to people and being totally hypocrytical. I will never make him realize how wrong he was. Because he thinks he is totally right. He had also made a racist remark because Daniel's friend was black. I was completely baffelled by that because Jake's best friend, who was at the party, is black.

That gets me into what I meant to focus on. After telling her what happened, Meg mentioned that she had never experienced so much racism until she moved to Memphis. Meg is from Franklin, Tennessee, a little country town where you would think everyone is a red-neck and racist. You certainly wouldn't think they are less racist up there than here, in Memphis, which is suposed to be a melting pot of cultures. Memphis is a very racist city, which is hard to fathom because it's overwhelmingly black. She pointed out how segregated we are. We talked about dating black people (because her boyfriend is black too) and the kind of comments we get. She told me the things she's heard black girls say about her dating a black guy. It just seems so ridiculous. Memphis was the center for the Civil Rights Movement, and we're still so prejudice. It's just so hard to understand. Why do people hate people based on their skin color or their sexual orientation? Just because I'm not gay doesn't mean I can't be friends with someone who is. Jake said at the party that he didn't want them to touch him. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I like guys, but that doesn't mean I'm going to touch every one of them. I just don't understand. How can people think these ignorant things? Why does our world STILL hate? Isn't the golden rule in the Bible to 'love thy neighbor'? Maybe Jake missed that part too. Is it ever going to get better? Is our world ever going to progress? I think of something my grandmother said to me when she found out I had a black boyfriend. She said "I don't understand what you see in those BLACK boys." He's the same person no matter his skin color. As long as he's a good person, why does it matter? I find ignorance such a hard thing to deal with. It was so hard for me to yell at Jake, my good friend. I just felt so disrespected and embarrassed.

Don't be that person. Don't be that person who makes an ignorant comment and looks like an ass in front of everyone. If you have stupid opinions, don't express them. You are entitled to your own opinion, no matter how ignorant or prejudice it may be. But you do not have a right to judge people. Unless God himself handed you his job for the day, then you have no right to tell anyone that they are going to hell. I hope I made you open your eyes. And I hope this gives someone the courage to stand up to prejudice-ism(?) It seems nothing has changed. People STILL have this hatred. And there will always be that person. I just don't understand it.

Wendy's reading

Well tonight I went to hear Wendy read her work at Otherland's. My roommate and I were starving so we stopped first at my work to eat. We were afraid we wouldn't make it to Otherland's by 6 (which is when Wendy said it started), so we put our food in a to go box and left. On the way I made a sharp turn and the boxes went flying, spilling french fries all over my car! So much for dinner later. We got there and Wendy told me that it didn't really start until 6:30, meaning we didn't really have to rush to get there, which means I never would have spilled my food...but that's ok. I forgive you Wendy. My roommate, Angie, and I were waiting with Navid, Sarah, and Jen when we heard Wendy introduce her husband to someone. We were in the next room over so I was curious to see her husband and wandered over. The only man I saw in the room with them was this old man and I was like uhhh....is this her husband? Not that I would've cared if it was, but I was relieved when her real husband walked in and he was her age. I mean that's fine if she had married an old man....just a little awkward. Turned out, the man was an old family friend...sorry for my confusion. Finally it was time for Wendy to start reading. She seemed a little nervous at first, but she quickly got into her work and seemed more comfortable. The title of her piece was PDA...as in public displays of affection. Personally I don't like public displays of affection, but I think only because I don't get them. I think I'm really just jealous when I see PDA. I always say something like "get a room", but really I'm thinking, "I wish someone kissed me like that in public." Her reading might have been awkward for some and she jumped right into referencing her husband's "cock" but I thought it was cool that she could just talk about that and it not be weird to her. I like her courage to speak what's on her mind and not care if someone thinks it's too much info. I think that's why people think things like that are too much info...because no one speaks of them in public. If everyone talked about their husband's cock, maybe it would be more accepted. But that's not what I'm trying to get at here. Her story seemed to have 3 seperate stories in one. At first I was confused, but she tied it all in together by the end. It was so cute when Wendy spoke of how everyone tells her that she and her husband have the perfect marriage. When she read that line I looked at her husband and he was beaming. It was so cute. It does seem that they are the perfect couple. I long to have that some day. It wasn't a very long reading, but it was really good. I love Wendy's honesty. I don't know if this was an excerpt from the novel she is writing, but when it's published I'll be sure to run out and buy a copy. And I'll read it. And I don't read unless required to do so....so Wendy you should feel honored. Just let me know when it comes out. It was great to see Wendy finally read her work, considering she's read so much of ours. I thoroughly enjoyed it. (And I'm not just saying that so she'll give me a good grade....although I wouldn't oppose to that.)

exsquisite corpse?

I was in the hospital waiting room for five hours. I was waiting for my sister to have her baby. It had been a long day and I was starting to halucinate. All I could do was sit and watch the hands on the clock, waiting for the news of a birth. I had almost dozed off when all of a sudden a blue boy ran up to the ugly clock! Yes, a blue boy! Why was he blue, you ask? Well this boy had also been sitting in the waiting room, playing quietly with his toys. I think his mother was in surgery. Well he was sucking on a lollipop when he looked out the window and saw an amazing bicycle anthropomorphize into a pretty tree. The boy had never seen anything like this before and went into a state of shock, thus choking on his lollipop, which in turn caused him to turn blue.

and this is as far as i got because wendy didn't give us enough minutes!

Thanksgiving Break

So we're back from break. It didn't seem long enough did it? It was a mixed emotion break for me. It was fun...but at the same time it wasn't. Last time I wrote about waiting for Corbin to show up; well he didn't come that night but he came the next night. And as soon as he got up to my room in Richardson Towers, the stupid fire alarm went off! I was like are you kidding me!!! But now I'm kind of glad it did, because it caused my roommate and me and him to go out to dinner together. My roommate doesn't really like him, just because she's a good friend and she's trying to watch out for me...it's not because she doesn't like HIM....she just doesn't like him as my boyfriend. But since we had to go out to eat together, she got to meet him and spend a little time together and realized he's not as terrible as he seems. Well when we got back, we hung out for a little while and then went over to our friends house. Things were perfect the whole night. I hadn't seem my boyfriend in 5 weeks, and things were kind of difficult since we're on a break, but Saturday night was perfect. Well he went back home and then came back Tuesday. I hung out with him Tuesday night at his house and it was great again! I was thinking, wow this break was just what we needed! Thursday I went over to his house for Thanksgiving dinner because my parents were out of town. I hung out with his dad for a while because he was cooking dinner and Corbin and everyone else was getting ready. When Corbin came down he whispered to me "Em, have you ever had black people food for Thanksgiving?" I was like no! haha...it was different that's for sure. They had turkey, ham, macaroni and cheese, stuffing, potato salad, cranberry sauce, and collard greens. I got turkey and macaroni and cheese and stuffing. I had never had stuffing before, but I felt bad because everyone else had their plates piled high and I only had two things....because I didn't really like the rest....so I got stuffing, and it was actually really good! I was a little disappointed though because there were no rolls. I am definitely a bread girl. My grandmother makes homemade potato rolls every year and I eat about 30...so when they didn't have ANY bread, I was like WHAT?!?! Haha...but it was good. And I made a cheesecake for them since they invited me over and damn, I make a mean cheesecake. No lie. It was good. So anyways...after that I hung out with Corbin again and things just weren't as perfect as they had been the days before, so it was kind of disappointing. I think the mistake we made was hanging out so much, because we said we would be on a break until Christmas and we weren't really supposed to talk or see each other before then, so we kind of cheated. But you know, there aren't really defined rules when you're "on a break." It's difficult. But we talked Saturday night/Sunday morning until 6:30 am...just about everything...and I guess I'll just wait until Christmas break to see how things go. So I'm glad we got that break, and I'm already waiting for Christmas break to be here! I guess I'm just tired of school!

here's my paper guys...give me feedback

Reality vs. Illusion

I had a hard time choosing at least three essays in which I would analyze to try to find a common theme. There seemed to be nothing in common with any of the couple dozen essays I had to choose from. However, looking beyond the surface I found a theme running throughout “The Fourth of July” by Audre Lorde, “The Rake” by David Mamet, and “Under the Influence” by Scott Russell Sanders. Just by reading the essays I didn’t see similarities between a story about a young black girl in the 1940s going on vacation with her family, a story about a man describing awful childhood experiences within his dysfunctional family, and a story about a boy dealing with an alcoholic father. But looking beyond the surface of each essay, I realized that these three authors’ stories did relate to each other. The essays all have an underlying theme of reality versus illusion. In Audre Lorde’s case, reality versus illusion was in the form of equality. She lived in a place where equality was preached daily, but in fact came to find out that was not necessarily the way things really were. In the stories by Mamet and Sanders, the illusion was that of a perfect family, whereas the reality was not so perfect. I believe everything is a matter of reality versus illusion. These three stories show that through their words and symbolism.

In “The Fourth of July,” Audre Lorde mentions numerous times how her parents ignored racism. If her parents didn’t talk about racism, then they would not be affected by the injustice. Her parents supported the illusion of equality when really there was no such equality for people of their race. When riding on the train to Washington, D.C., Lorde asked her mother if she could eat in the dining car. Instead of telling her the truth, that blacks were not allowed in the dining cars in 1947, her mother simply stated that “dining car food always cost too much money and besides, you never could tell whose hands had been playing all over that food, nor where those same hands had been just before” (Lorde 568). This example of her parents’ willingness to ignore the situation is similar to that in “Under the Influence”.

Throughout his whole life, Scott Russell Sanders struggled with how to deal with his alcoholic father. Never once, though, did he or his mother or brother or sister, mention to anyone outside their family of his father’s ailment. The family chose to hide the problem, in a way ignoring the mere existence of a problem. To the outside, Sander’s family seemed perfectly normal. But that was an illusion. The reality was that his family dealt with a monster every day, and never told anyone. This was a secret, as was racism to Audre Lorde’s parents.

When David Mamet referred to the house he grew up in as the “Model Home” for the development they lived in, it gave a new meaning to the phrase. I find the fact that they lived in the model home very ironic. As a matter of fact, his family was far from being any type of model family. I think a lot of people get their ideas of “model” families from what they see on television. This was the kind of family that Mamet seemed to long
for. Sander’s family was similar in this way too. He certainly did not have the model family that people see on television. He and Mamet were the same in that way. Sanders even said how he thought he could make his father better by “doing all my chores, earning A’s in school, winning baseball games, fixing the broken washer and the burst pipes, bringing in money to fill his empty wallet” (Sanders 734). Those were the things that Sanders viewed as being perfect. Things that the perfect son would do. But those were not realistic. All of those things gave the illusion of being perfect, but in fact were not.

I referred to television as being a culprit of making illusions. Showing how things “should” be. Sanders also makes references to television. He goes on about how “it is a mostly humorous lexicon, as the lore that deals with drunks-in jokes and cartoons, in plays, films, and television skits-is largely comic” (Sanders 734). Obviously to someone who deals with alcoholism, the matter is not funny. He also says at one point that on television, beer promises to deliver the essence of life. Of course that isn’t quite the case. That’s just another illusion.

In “The Rake”, Mamet describes how when his family would go out, all of them were in “good spirits”. This shows how they put on a front for everyone else. Much like Sanders did. Sanders mentioned how he grieved behind a “phony smile”. All of these examples show these illusions that their families lived with their entire lives. Never once did any of them let the realities of their household escape past the front door. Something that stood out to me in “Under the Influence” was when Sanders said “In the United States alone, some ten or fifteen million people share this ailment, and behind the doors they slam in fury or disgrace, countless other children tremble” (Sanders 734). Millions of people deal with this disease every day, but none of them admit it. Every one of them hides behind the walls of their house, away from the outside world. Maybe if people came out and spoke more freely of these things, more people would get help.

Going back to “The Fourth of July” by Audre Lorde, the illusion exemplified in this essay is again, equality. How though was the country equal when black people could not even eat ice cream in the same place as whites? The reality was that the country was not equal at all. Here, in the nation’s capital, were all the statues that were supposed to stand for freedom and equality. But instead, racism was the reality. Until the end of her family’s visit, Lorde did not know of her parents’ secret.

In “The Rake”, Mamet described a scene in which his sister overhears her grandfather, stepfather, and mother, who seem to be having some sort of altercation. Turns out that her grandfather just simply can not tell her mother that he loves her, which she is upset over. Just three simple words could have solved the situation, but her grandfather remains silent. Much like Mamet’s grandfather, Lorde’s parents do the same thing. “My mother and father believed that they could best protect their children from the realities of race in American and the fact of American racism by never giving them name, much less discussing their nature” (Lorde 568). Her parents refused to talk about racism and the injustices of America. If only they had discussed racism and the facts with their children, maybe Lorde would not have been so shocked or angry. People seem to hide from their problems more than they are willing to face them. Hitting them straight on though seems more logical. No long would their problems be hidden. I think the reasoning behind this is because most people are too afraid of reality. To most, illusions are easier to deal with than real life.

I could not believe that Audre Lorde had never realized the racism around her. She was only a young girl, but still, how does one not notice the signs, the stares, the comments, as I am sure they got plenty. The same goes for Scott Russell Sanders. He mentioned that he had never heard the word alcoholism. He had convinced himself that his father suffered from demons. He hoped that someone his father could receive an exorcism or something of the sort to free the demons from his body. Unlike Lorde though, Sanders knew something was wrong, he just didn’t know what the name was. Lorde on the other hand was completely oblivious to anything that might be wrong. She lived the illusion that her parents set up for her.

Symbolism was a large part of each of these three essays. In “The Rake” one of the first symbols set forth was the kitchen table. Mamet went on to describe how the table to them “was associated in our minds with the notion of blood” (Mamet 69). Much like the table brought bad feelings to Mamet and his sister, the Liberty Bell and Lincoln Memorial did the same for Audre Lorde. These monuments were supposed to be representative of freedom and equality. But in fact, the D.A.R. refused to let Marian Anderson sing at the Lincoln Memorial because she was black. Lorde’s parents did not stop at the Liberty Bell on the way to Washington D.C. because they knew it stood for false pretenses. Symbols are just illusions.

So many things seem to be something that they really are not. Everyone has illusions of themselves that no one but they know the reality to. Most people find that hiding behind illusions is easier than being truthful or exposing reality. To many, illusions are security blankets that keep them in their comfort zone. The difference between reality and illusion is what people see. “The Fourth of July”, “The Rake”, and “Under the Influence” all show the same theme of reality versus illusion. The authors show the theme through their symbolism and use of memories.

Boredom at midnight

ok so i am so f'ing bored right now. I've been sitting on my bed/ walking around my room for like 4 hours now. Like, I told myself that I would stay home tonight and all day tomorrow and tomorrow night so I could write my synthesis essay. My goal is to be done by Monday night because my boyfriend comes home Tuesday night and so I want to be done by then and not have to worry about it. Well today while my roommate and Meg and I were eating at El Porton, as we do every Friday, my boyfriend texted me and said he was coming in town tonight! They were coming so they can go to the Ole Miss game tomorrow and then go back to school before coming home again for Thanksgiving. Well, that just got me excited and unfocused. So basically I've been sitting around all night focusing on him coming over to see me. First I went tanning, then I took a shower, I cleaned our room, then we went to get dessert, came back and took a few shots of rum to keep us energized, then I sat on facebook for a while, then I took out my essay and pretended like I was going to get some actual work done. I didn't. I re-read one of the essays. Then I got up again and just walked around and got online and looked at random things. I seriously could have written half my paper by now, but I just can't focus. I've been waiting for my boyfriend to call me and tell me he was coming over. Well I finally got tired of waiting and called him....so now I'm just waiting for him to come over. I'll be pretty disappointed if he doesn't make it. I mean not because I won't get to see him, because I'll see him Tuesday, but just because I wasted my entire night waiting for him, and then if he doesn't show....I will have accomplished nothing. I just got done making daquiris for my roommate and myself. That's how bored I am! I'm promising myself right now though that I'm working on my paper ALL DAY tomorrow! I have to finish it! If you see me out and about at all tomorrow, hit me in the face and tell me to go write my paper! Anyways....this has kept me occupied for about 6 minutes. BOREDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok I'll stop being obnoxious now....Later!